Ed Cruz

happy new year everyone! welcome to the year of the tiger! so i've really decided that i'm not a particularly good blogger unless i'm really inspired by something cool happening – and when something cool happens i usually want to enjoy it rather than worrying about writing it down. Or when i just need to share thoughts that going through my head. so, though i pledge to do my best on the blog entry thing . . . i think most of the time I'll just check in and let you folks know stuff that you might find exciting, inspiring, or intriguing. that's kinda how i think the blog thing is going to work out for me. i'd like it to be interactive. i'll check in and let you know what i'm reading, listening to, watching, or thinking about – then you (the collective 'you' out there) write me at thisfire[at]gmail.com and let me know what YOU'RE thinking, reading, listening to. how's that sound?!

    I was in an friend's flat getting some stuff organised for him, and there was no available music to play, so I thought of putting the telly on, and tune in to MTV to get some music happening in the background. Gosh, I can't remember the last time I watch telly (telly: Brit expression for TV). I watch films often on video, and occassionally in the cinema. That's why I'm clueless, when colleagues and friends asked me about what happened to this soap-opera or that TV program and all. But I must admit, am pretty happy not to watch TV these days, as most of the programming are rather dull, and that whole concept of having to remake TV series and dubbing are so uninteresting. Sorry about the fastidious attitude. I guess this is what happen, when you hang out around people who talk their heads off with "interesting" stuff. Anyway, going back to the original subject of today's blog.. I was watching this music video by Fall Out Boy called " I'm Like A ...

It's in your eyes I can tell what you're thinking My heart is sinking too It's no suprise I've been watching you lately I want to make it with you This is the lyrics of a song by Kylie Minogue that played in my head, when a guy on the MRT looked at me straight-in-the-eye as I also looked back.. I love it when you look at someone, and they look back. And they know that it's a look of "being interested" with their look and everything. It's a pity that a lot of people, have issues when someone look at them intensely. But I suppose, this is still case to case basis, I wouldn't generalise. But this guy on the train, obviously didn't mind being looked at, and looking back. I just had to write this one down and express it here. Now, this is what I call a short & painless affair.

Dear friends/mates/colleagues; time spent with each one of you last year has been quite interesting, funny, touching, loving, and surprising... i would like to take this opportunity to thank you and wish you... - humor in everything, no matter how serious it is... - awareness of your connection to everything, no matter how disconnected we all may feel from each other... - love for all parts of yourself, including the parts that you think are utterly un-loveable. - endless expression in whatever form, whether it's in how you dress or how you speak. - freedom from any box or construct that doesn't encourage life in you... - courage to set your boundaries with clarity and love... - allergy-free white kittens and pillows to fall into when you are despondent and spent and lost... - faith in the moments where it seems stupid and foolish to have it... - moments of blissful solitude and yummy community and safe intimacy in the doses that feel best... - moments of feeling like a student...

Today is my 27th year on the planet.. does this mean anything?! Of course not, I don't want to be too significant about my existence. But I am grateful that I was able to enjoy life since birth and can hardly complain at all. Thanks to my mother, who up to this day I still have not met, I was too young when she went away. Thanks to my father, for doing the best he can to raise me up by hand. Thanks to my step-mother, for acting like my mother and filling up the gap. Thanks to my siblings, for acknowledging my as part of them. Thanks to my friends and mates for the all fun, enjoyment, and hard times we've share along the way. and thanks to you for taking time to read this. Lovelight, Ed :)

Woke up this morning with an angel on my table.. He was so sweet that he let me kiss his lips.. this was truly unexpected. Question is, is he aware of what he was doing? Or am i just dreaming?!